It was hard to get the momentum going
again after what had been a little holiday in New York City. I'd
almost forgotten that there was still work to be done. The
atmosphere on the bus was heavy. Dutch, by this point, was barely
talking to any of us and severely missing his wife. He'd told us as
much. We'd joked with him on the way down to Virginia, asking him
what was the worst, as in most mental, band he'd ever had on his bus.
“You are fucking taking the piss right?! You guys are by far the
craziest bunch of idiots I've ever met. No question.” We laughed.
He didn't.
As if to punctuate the slow, winding
down of this latter stage of the tour, Dutch told us that we'd
unequivocally have to cancel the last two shows, which were in
Florida. I don't know if he'd simply had enough of us and wanted to
get back to his wife or what. To be honest though, the last date of
the tour was in Ft. Lauderdale and if we played that show, we'd have
about twenty four hours to make it back to Houston and catch our
flight. Sense prevailing, we'd have to cancel the shows. It still
felt like a welcome convenience for Dutch though. I hate cancelling
shows for any other reason than a force majeure, it goes against
everything I stand for. I did my best to explore all the options
with Dutch, but he was having none of it. To be fair, he was right.
And it wasn't his fault. We'd make a fuck up when booking the
flights, if the truth is told.
So, we were heading down to Virginia
for a couple of nights and then we'd play our final gig in Atlanta.
In hindsight it would have been pretty insane to then head back to
Florida only to race all the way back again over to Houston for our
flight. We'd never have made it. Hopping off in Atlanta and driving
back to Texas from there made far more sense. I was still pretty
gutted though, it would have been fun to play Florida.
The drive down to Springfield, Virginia
didn't take long. I wonder if this is the Springfield where the
Simpsons live? It's funny how fast you get back in to the flow of
the tour anyway. By the time we'd loaded the gear in and hooked up
with the SG guys it felt like we'd never had a day off. It was a
warm, sunny day in Virginia. Real t-shirt weather. My sagging
spirits were immediately lifted and thoughts of home were once again
put on the back burner. I've always had a hard time dealing with the
last few days of tour, once the thoughts of home and your own bed,
your wife and family start creeping in, it's hard to shake. There
have been a few long tours where I've been completely miserable by
the last few dates, more likely down to exhaustion than anything else
I guess. I'd gotten over that by this point in time though, you have
to realise there is no point dwelling on it, that it doesn't make
time go any faster, that's for sure.
The venue in Springfield was a large
hall with one of those big, high stages. There was just the one
large, communal dressing room for all of the bands. It was nice
seeing our touring friends again. The relationships you form on tour
really are like no other. It gets to be this intense friendship and
then when you part ways, it's over. Very few do you stay in regular
contact with afterwards, even if you've felt like best friends having
hung out every day for the preceding four or five weeks. Still, the
great thing is that those friendships can usually be picked up
immediately next time you see each other again. I had the feeling
that the SG guys wouldn't be staying in touch with Nile after this
tour though. There was still a lot of bad feeling about the whole
merch situation. We told the guys that we were forced to pull the
Florida shows, they told us they were considering doing the same.
We'd become pretty good chums with the
Hypocrisy guys by now too. Pete, who is a bit of deal in the metal
production world, had been talking to us about recording Speedhorn
sometime. Fun as that was to hear, and flattering too, I couldn't
see it happening. But you never knew what might be around the
corner. It's just one of those things I'd heard so many times, and
whether due to us not following it up or it just being bullshit in
the first place, it never happened. Still, it was good to be hanging
out with everyone in the big dressing room sharing a beer or two.
Ironic really that with only three shows to go, I finally felt like
we'd broken the ice with the majority of the touring party. The SG
guys apart, we were probably completely out of place with everyone,
but it felt like we'd been accepted if nothing else.
I don't really remember the show. It
was just another one of those big, characterless halls. I don't
think it was the worst gig though, since we actually had some girls
hitting on us afterwards. We were in good spirits and most likely a
little drunk and there was a party atmosphere in the dressing room.
There was a fussball table and ping pong, and we were all taking
part, even the Nile guys, which as much as they'd been pretty alien
to everyone else on this tour, still felt nice that they were getting
involved. Maybe like us, they were just a little misunderstood and
out there on their own a bit..
Anyway, me and Kev are sat on this sofa
and all of a sudden there are these two young girls, they must be
twins since they looked very alike, unashamedly hitting on us. Fuck
knows how they'd gotten in here. Anyway, they're giving it all the
classic stuff like, “Ooh I love your accent!” and then mimicking
everything I say and giggling. To be fair, it was quite cute and I
didn't really feel the need to create any polite distance between us
until one of them started gently rubbing my back. Daz, being single,
rightly so cottoned on to what was happening and moved his way in.
The girls seemed to have their sights on me and Kev though. “Are
you guys brothers? You look really alike..” I cracked up at that.
Me and Kev? Funny thing is, we do share the same birthday.. I
thought this was an interesting fact that deserved sharing. “It's
funny because, we do have the same birthday and we're exactly ten
years apart.” I hadn't really thought about what I was saying, I
was just babbling on in my married guy, haven't got a clue I'm being
hit on and just warbling on with some nonsense routine. I was
therefore a little shocked when Kev roughly dug his elbow into my
ribs, “Five years!!!” I almost spat my beer out when I saw the
distressed look on his face.
I hadn't really realised that Daz was
pissed up, not like that was unusual in any way, but his patter and
the slightly wonky left eye soon gave him away. He was making his
move on the girls. “You know it's funny, because he's Gareth
Smith, and I'm Darren Smith! But we're not brothers either, although
a lot of people ask us if we are..” It's total Homer Simpson
stuff, fitting I suppose considering the name of the town we're in.
Not long after this, the girls leave, either unimpressed or realising
it's not going to happen. After that we get back to hanging out with
the rest of the guys. It's one of those drunk photo session nights
that normally happen somewhere near the end of a tour. I got a great
picture of Brian and Kev. Now they did look like brothers. It was
fun listening to them talk, being a similar age and having grown up
listening to the same bands, I could have listened to them reminisce
the whole night.
The next day we were in Norfolk,
Virginia, another short drive. The Springfield show would turn out
to be the last big party night for us and the other bands. Also
another common occurrence.. We knew we'd be leaving straight after
the Atlanta show, so it was best to do all the contact exchanging and
pics a day or two before. I remember next to nothing of the Norfolk
show, except that it was another big venue with one of those classic
billboards you only seem to see in the States. It's always a buzz
seeing your band's name outside a venue. The place held about
fifteen hundred people and there were a lot attending. I do remember
feeling pretty satisfied with both the Virginia shows and thinking
that we'd had a pretty good run since the New York gig. As said
earlier, by now the standard of what made a good show had
substantially lowered. Not getting spat on was considered somewhat a
success.
There was still that overhanging
feeling of being ready to go home though. We'd been out a long time
and a lot of shite had come our way since leaving Heathrow for these
shores in what seemed like a lifetime before. We'd all pretty much
had enough of other for now. Just the small things were getting on
my tits, like Lasse sitting for hours on end on the bus playing this
acoustic guitar he'd picked up somewhere along the line. Lasse is an
insane guitarist and it is genuinely inspiring to watch him play, his
fingers contorted in all sorts of mad shapes over the fretboard, but
after a few weeks it was tapping on my nerves. As was Dutch's
constant moaning. I personally couldn't wait for Dutch to meet his
wife again, something he would do on the penultimate day of our trip.
The guy needed to seriously fuck away some pent up tension.. When I
come to think of it, even the Meshuggah album, the admittedly superb
33, was now seriously getting on my tits. We'd played it to
death on this tour..
Yes. It was certainly time to go
home.. In hindsight I wish I'd taken the time to have a look around
the city of Norfolk. We were there early with nothing to do and it
seemed like a nice enough place with a river running through it.
Like I say though, thoughts were mainly on staving off exhaustion,
both mental and physical, and getting home.
And so on to the last show we drove.
Atlanta, Georgia... No matter how you're feeling at the end of a
tour, no matter how tired you are and how desperate you are to see
your family and lie in your own bed again, to be able to wake up in
the morning and jump straight into a shower, it's always tough saying
goodbye to friends you've been hanging out with every day for a
month. So it felt today saying farewell to the Soilent Green crew.
Even John, the Nile stage manager. I kind of felt empty all day, a
mix of emotions..
We were playing a place called The
Masquerade. It was a huge old, decrepit building. I guess it was
once a factory or warehouse.. It was all crumbling grey concrete and
dust. As usual, we were in a run down area, so even though it was a
brilliantly sunny day, perfect walking conditions, I dared not
venture too far. Mostly heeding advice from Dutch if I'm honest.
I walked a couple of blocks up a hill
away from the venue and then back again. The surrounding area did
indeed look pretty poor and just a little sketchy. As much as I love
exploring big cities, this was just one I'd have to leave. I simply
didn't have the energy. Maybe I'd be back in Atlanta another day in
more preferable circumstances.
The big venue must have been capable of
taking in a couple of thousand at full tilt, but the show tonight was
maybe a third full. We had a very average gig. There were large
gaps down the front of the crowd, something all too apparent from the
high stage we were stood on. The sound on stage was pretty crap, as
is usually the case on these big set-ups, especially when you're not
the headlining band. Brian got up and played $30 Bag one
last time with us though, which was fun as always, although it didn't
quite have the same buzz as that first time in the considerably
smaller venue in Rochester..
It was
one of those nights when all of the bands seemed a little fazed. I
guess everyone was feeling the burn. It felt like everyone was going
through the motions.. As had often been the case, a large portion of
the crowd left after Hypocrisy's set. I remember walking through the
venue whilst they were playing and taking note of the large number of
Hypocrisy t-shirts being worn. One guy struck me in particular. It
was this mean looking black guy, who had a Darth Maul thing going on,
with the yellow cat-like contact lenses and small horns sticking out
of his forehead. He looked like a right knob but I obviously didn't
feel the need to tell him that. He was going crazy for Hypocrisy
anyway. I remember thinking to myself that he'd most likely be
straight out of the door after their set..
The
Mastodon guys were mingling around backstage and John seemed to be
hanging out with them. We'd played with them in London a while
before but hadn't really spoken to them then, although they'd stood
side stage and watched our set They seemed like nice enough guys,
although I didn't really understand quite why they'd become immersed
in this huge hype. I like the first couple of albums but after that
it got a bit boring in my opinion. It's funny because whenever a
band starts to get big like that there's this presence that seems to
come with it, and everyone around them is fussing and buzzing. I
could almost tell that someone “famous” was hanging around
backstage before I'd even seen them, just by the way people in the
vicinity seemed to be acting. Weird.
I knew
that Dutch would be itching to leave as soon as possible after this
show and true enough he was. He was asking if we could pack up the
merch early and head off, since we never sold anything anyway. It
was a fair enough point, but it fucked me off all the same, and for
that reason I told him no. The anxiety on his face was plain to
see. His balls must have been the size of watermelons.
Of
course, we sold a grand total of two t-shirts and then packed up when
the house lights came on. And that was that. Dutch had us pack the
van in lightning quick time. We said goodbye to the other bands and
left the tour. Soilent Green were playing Florida after all. That
night on the bus was a bit subdued to say the least. A couple of
beers, a film and it was time for bed. Dutch had his foot down up
front. I had the feeling he wasn't going to stop until we got to his
place in Austin.
We
arrived early the next afternoon. We'd spend the night here and then
we'd be driving to Houston in the morning to make our flight home.
Lasse had been in touch with that cute emo girl he'd hooked up with
in San Antonio. They were going to meet up for the night, so he was
off. He promised he'd be back in plenty of time in the morning. I
joked with him that I had no problem leaving him here. The van was
parked up by the time we'd awoken. Dutch had already gone, he'd left
a note on the steering wheel saying he'd be back in a couple of hours
and then he'd take us somewhere for dinner. Lasse was just heading
off to meet emo girl. I waved him off and wished him happy times.
The rest of us had the day in Austin, which suited me fine since it's
one of my favourite cities in the States.
Dutch
turned up a while later with his wife, who seemed to be a really nice
lady. They took us to a Mexican restaurant just off the strip,
around the corner from Emo's. It was a beautiful day and we sat out
in the beer garden noshing on great food. Dutch was without any
exaggeration, a completely new man! He had a smile cracking the
sides of his face. I felt really happy for him. At the same time,
sad, since I knew he was heading off on another tour with another
bunch of idiots in five days time. I don't know if I could hack
that.
After
lunch Dutch headed home with his wife for some well deserved quality
time together. The rest of us went to a bar and played pool for a
couple of hours before heading back to the bus to watch a couple of
films. It was a perfect final day off before we headed home. I went
to bed wondering how Lasse was getting on...
I have
to admit that I was a little surprised to see Lasse back early the
next day, I was expecting a bit of drama if I'm honest. I asked him
how it had went with Emo Girl. Not good apparently... She'd taken
him for dinner with her family, something Lasse wasn't exactly
expecting. What's worse, they were all strict Christians, something
Lasse most certainly is not. It must have been uncomfortable to say
the least. The girl seemed to be this whole other person from the
one he'd met in San Antonio a month earlier. He'd gotten out of
there as quick as he could.
Unlike
Chicago airport on the way in, the customs officers at Houston
couldn't give a fuck. They barely looked at us as we went through
the checks. It's obviously a different matter when you're leaving
their country. We flew a few hours to Chicago and then changed
there. All very relaxed. We didn't even have to pick up the gear at
the lay over this time around. We just had to get off and wait for
the next flight which would take us to Heathrow.
We had
about an hour at Chicago O' Hare. It's a huge airport. Fucking
colossal! We'd been sat by our gate for about fifty minutes when
Lasse decides he's heading off in search of a sandwich. I ask him if
he thinks he'll have enough time, my tone clearly stating my doubt.
The food court was a good fifteen minute walk away, and that would be
for someone with two working legs.. “Yeah no problem..” he
assures me. The fucker literally hobbles around the corner way down
at the end of the hall, his broken leg weighed down by the plaster
cast, when the lady by our gate announces we're boarding. Lasse
doesn't come back..
I wait
for a while and then decide I'm not missing my plane for him. I take
his guitar on board with me and leave it with on of the stewardesses
at the front of the plane. He eventually turns up, last one on the
plane, with a chuffed grin on his face and a sandwich in his hand.
It's not only us lot that are fucked off with him, “You must
fucking love a drama, you!” I bark at him. “What's up?” he
innocently enquires. You can't help but love the cunt...
Before
we take off from Chicago, a steward asks me if I could consider
swapping my seat with some guy so that he can sit with his pregnant
wife. I'm only to happy to oblige, of course. I move my gear and
I'm filled with a warm feeling when I see how grateful the guy is. I
end up sitting next to some older guy, businessman by the look of
him, who is instantly chatty. He turns out to be this really nice
guy, who is deeply into blues and jazz music. He has some great old
live music clips on his laptop that he's happy to share with me. The
flight literally whizzes by as we talk to each other about everything
music.
Until
we get to up and above Iceland... The pilot comes on the intercom
and like something out of a film, asks if there is a doctor on board.
It turns out some guy at the back of the plane has had a heart
attack. We make an emergency stop in Reykjavik. Well, it's not
like we nose dive down to the runway or anything, but it's an
unscheduled stop. It's all pretty sombre on board as the ambulance
crew rush on to the plane and try and save the guy. I can't see
what's happening but we're on the ground for a good hour and a half.
I wonder what ever happened to him.. And then without word, we're
lifting off again. Five hours later we're back in London.
And
that was that, a weird end to a pretty weird tour.
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