Thursday, April 14, 2011
Working Titles
During the writing process of this latest Victims album, the first that I'd been involved with, I noticed an old work-sheet on the wall behind Johan's amp at Victims HQ, or The Bunker as I call it. It was the work-sheet for the Killer album. It was a list of the working titles for the songs accompanied by a lot of arrangement notes, all scribbled down in black marker pen.
The first thing that crossed my mind whilst looking at this list was how professional Victims were when going about their business. On closer inspection of the list though, a broad smile crossed my face. I noticed a song that had been given the working title, “Lemmy E Stolt”, which in English means, “Lemmy Is Proud”. I knew immediately that that must have been the working title for, Lies, Lies, Lies, a song that was released as a 7” following the Killer lp. I also knew that it must have been Jon who had christened the song. Looking at the other titles and I realised that it must have been Jon who had christened all of the songs on that work-sheet.
The new album, A Dissident, is out this week, and this being the case I thought I'd share the background story and working titles for each of the songs written for the record. As they'd always done before, we worked through each song in a professional manner, pulling songs apart and dissecting them, whilst all the time keeping notes on one of those work-sheets that this time hung on the wall behind Andy's drum kit.
Once again, it was Jon who took it upon himself to give the songs their working labels. Like every song ever written, they each have their influences, which are usually where the working titles come from. The real titles of the songs came to light long into the writing process.
In Speedhorn, lyrics were usually an after-thought, at least until Bloody Kev joined the band. It was usually the case that I'd give the songs their titles long before lyrics were written for them. I was always scribbling notes of song titles down. They would come from something I'd read, or heard somewhere in a film or on the news, that had caught my ear and I'd thought would make a pretty cool title. I'd have loads of these song titles in a note book I carried around in my bag at all times. So the subject of a Speedhorn song was usually always in the title, and not in the lyrics. The lyrics were often written in the studio and rarely had anything to do with the name of the song...
On A Dissident, the lyrics were given a lot of time and thought by Johan. Now they're not exactly Hemingway, but he at least had a solid theme for each song, which in turn followed a general theme for the entire album. It was only whilst we were pre-producing the album that the real song titles started to surface. Up until then we'd followed the working titles that Jon had dictated to Andy, who in turn wrote them up on the sheet. This being the case, the new song titles took some getting used to...
Theft – Dismember
Kind of obvious I guess, but it's a common theme in Jon's song-writing. The song was given the initial title Dismember due to the death metal style intro on it. The lead melody in itself though was very much inspired by Hallowed Be Thy Name by Maiden...
Jon had actually showed the guys this song during a practice session I had missed. Andy had told me afterwards that Jon had written a song with a pretty cool Maiden style melody in it. I texted Jon afterwards and told him that I had heard there was a good new song on the go, mentioning that Andy had said that it had a Maiden feel to it. ”Maiden feel?”, Jon immediately texted me back, “It's a direct rip off of Hallowed Be Thy Name! If Harris hears it he's gonna come knocking!”
Funnily enough, despite the Maiden/Dismember style intro, the main body of the song personally reminds me of one of Jon's other bands, Acursed. It was actually that that pleased me the most about it. I love Acursed.
Death Do Us Part – Discharge Rakt/Världens Bästa Låt
Again following the theme, this song was particularly influenced by Discharge. I know...shocking! But they did invent the entire scene after all... It was known as Straight Discharge at first, though Jon was so happy with the song that it soon got the working title Best Song In The World. It was obvious to us from the start that this was one of the stronger songs we'd written and would most likely have a place near the start of the album. It's straight up and to the point and one of the more aggressive songs we'd written for this record. Although it is heavy in it's Discharge influence, the hook at the end of the chorus always reminds me of To Ride era Entombed.
In Control – AB 4 Klack
As with every record I've ever been involved in writing, there are some songs that don't convince you at first, that go on to be firm favourites when they've been given the studio treatment. At the same time, there are songs that you really like in the rehearsal space that just don't live up to expectations once properly recorded. In Control was an example of the former.
The song itself was originally half the pace of the final album version. I thought it was way too slow. I didn't really get it. I have no problem with exploring new avenues but they have to remain true to the band's sound. It's a common theme on Victims albums that there is normally at least one standard 4/4 song, as opposed to the more common “d-beat” that the band's foundations are built on. This song was AB 4 Klack, which basically meant Another Breath 4/4. Jon was really into this song by our great friends Another Breath, which had this long guitar intro, and he wanted to have a song of our own that, in a similar manner, was based on a long guitar riff.
There was something missing though. It was a pretty straight forward song with just a couple of riffs, and being so slow it had a tendency to get a little boring. We ended up speeding up the song to around twice the tempo, I came up with an idea for a Helmet style stop/start in the chorus and Johan came up with a killer hook for the vocals. It became one of the more hit type songs on the record. Again though, it never really reminded me of Another Breath. I think it sounds more like the latest Coliseum album if anything. I think that might have more to do with the general attitude of the song though.
Victims In Blood Pt. 6 – V6
This is the one song that was written with a specific intention. That intention was to be the new V.I.B. song. It's been a tradition within the band that started with the first 7”, that every record since has had an In Blood song. They're always up there with the very fastest songs on the record, they're usually very short and always really aggressive. The one record that the song title doesn't appear on is Divide and Conquer, but Another Way To Die is actually Victims In Blood Part 4.
Although we didn't write the album with any specific intentions, the one mission Jon has, and he does treat it like a mission, is to write a song worthy of the In Blood title. We had one early on in the early stages of writing, but after toying around with it for a while, Jon tossed it out, claiming it not to be good enough. I liked it all the same.
As it happened, V6 was the final song we wrote for A Dissident. It's one of my absolute favourites.
Burning Bridges – Lemmy E Stolt Igen
If Lemmy was proud of Lies, Lies, Lies, then he was proud again of this song. The working title would later become simply, Lemmy. In the vain of the Killer sessions, Jon had once again written a Motorhead anthem of a song. I really liked it from the start, although Johan later admitted that he wasn't sure. The song never actually had any vocal line written for it, or at least, I never heard it in rehearsals, so it was a real boost to hear Johan's vocals on it at Nico's studio for what was the first time. I liked it anyway, but Johan's vocals really gave the song a lift. It was only after the album was finished and we were rehearsing the songs again that Johan said he thought it would be a good addition to the live set. I think this song is one of the most fun songs to play from the new material.
Bringing Me Down – Lizzy Intro
Yes, pretty obvious, but this song has a real Thin Lizzy intro riff. In it's embryonic stage it was way more over the top, very rock 'n' roll, in the worst sense. Jon had this high lead break thing that went over the bottom heavy chords Johan and I played. It was the song I had the most doubts about, and I was pretty sure that I'd be able to vote it off the record once finished.
We did toy with this song a lot though and eventually Jon's lead thing on the intro left the building. I was pleased with that. It went from sounding like Lizzy to something closer to From Ashes Rise. The working title reverted to just Lizzy after a while. Although we'd taken the silly intro away, the main body of the song still sounded pretty Lizzy, albeit a Victims take on it. The main riff is pretty rocking, almost happy in tone. The guitar solo I put down in the middle is directly influenced by the song, Massacre, from Lizzy's Johnny The Fox album.
Andy also seemed a little unsure about the song, and did his best to sneakily speed it up in rehearsals so as to bring it a bit more in line with how a Victims song should sound. He ended up succeeding. But as with In Control, it was Johan's vocals that really converted me to this song. I think he did a great job. His vocal on the verses gave the song exactly what it needed. It is now one of my favourites on the album.
We Are Not The Future – Anna Lotion
I have no fucking idea where Jon got the working title for this song from. Well the Anna part I get, since that part is a tribute to Annihilation Time, but the Lotion part? I haven't a clue. This song actually reminds me of Jon's girlfriend Anna, since she was out touring with AT a while back. I don't know, maybe this song is Jon's tribute to his girl...
The song itself took a long time to get together. It swayed back and forth a lot. It was one of the earlier songs written, one that had been around before I'd joined the band. The verse riff is really rock orientated, very AT. And the hook at the end of the chorus riff is about as close to Kiss as Victims will ever get. I remember we put a lot of time into the middle section, trying to nail this pretty cool drum accent thing, which went over my guitar chugging part, but we never got it together. Andy just couldn't find the right timing, and my arm refused to chugg for that long! We ended up going with a beat there in the middle instead. The Kiss riff was pretty straight up at first, but again we changed the drums to keep it in line with the more stabby beat that's in the rest of the song, which made the song a lot harder hitting in general. Johan and Jon came up with some cool interchanging vocals on this one which gave the song a really good hook. It turned out to be one of the songs I was really satisfied with on the album, but it probably won't be one we'll play live.
Lifetaker – Tråk Käng
The working title of this song literally means Boring Crust, which says a lot about Jon's sense of humour. It's actually one of the stronger songs on the record. It is though, a straight-forward d-beat crust song, direct from the realms of all those classic Swedish crust bands. The thing I always liked about this song was the minor chords that Jon wrote for the verse riff. It's quite subtle on the recording but if you listen for it you'll hear it.
If there was ever a Victims song that could be done acoustically then it would be this one. It's had many an acoustic going over in the studio control room, whilst we've sat around bored waiting for something to get fixed. It sounds really nice on an acoustic guitar actually, although Johan's singing accompanying it wasn't that hot...
Broken Bones – Garett Ett
This was the first song that I wrote for Victims, hence the title. Jon always pronounces my name in that ridiculously over the top Swedish way, with about ten “t's” added to the end.
This was another song that spent a lot of time hanging around in limbo. We didn't really know what to do with it. It had a whole other chorus at first and was quite a bit slower than the version that appears on the record. Once we'd adjusted it a little though it turned out pretty great. Jon came up with a awesome Entombed bit in the middle breakdown, which reminds me a lot of their song Wreckage from the To Ride album. Jon's years of grind training comes to the fore right here! Johan came up with some really great vocals again, and I played the nearest thing to a real guitar solo I'm ever going to manage. Linus, who is actually a real guitar player, helped me out a lot with it in the studio though.
Nowhere In Time – Maiden
This is about as obvious as it gets! It has a Maiden harmony in the chorus, Jon does a harmonic thing going back into the verse that when we put it down on the recording came out sounding exactly like the part from Aces High. This song could have been on Powerslave for fuck sakes! Even the official name for it was an obvious salute to the boys from London.
The song itself took no time to get together. It was one of the few songs that didn't need much work from Jon's original idea. In fact, the 4 track version that Jon had recorded at his desk at work (and he's always complaining that he works his ass off...) sounds pretty much as the final version turned out, apart from the ridiculous sounding drum machine that was on Jon's work/demo version.
I think this song pushes Victims boundaries about as far as they can go... definitely a song that grew on me over time. It's now one of the most fun songs to play in the rehearsal space.
Ignorance Is Bliss – Green Green
This was another song that was kicking around before I joined the band. There was a practice room tape with about five or six song ideas on, this being one of them. Jon had named this one Green Green since he thought the main part of the song sounded like Gang Green style hardcore. Fast, no frills. We fucked around for a while with the second part of the song and there's a little accent thing that ended up in there, right at the end of the song, that sounded like a song from Green Day's album, Dookie. When I first heard this idea I was like, what the fuck? But somehow it kind of worked and the working title became Green Green.
As opposed to how songs like In Control and Bringing Me Down didn't convince me at first, this song was one of my favourites in the early days. Unfortunately I feel we didn't quite capture it as we'd maybe hoped we would on the recording. It's weird, some songs are just like that. I think the end part of the song didn't quite hit how I thought it would. It's still a lot of fun to play this song in the rehearsal room, but I don't think it will make it to the stage. Still, a good song.
The Egoist – Dio Must Die
Not sure how the "Must Die" bit came about, but again, the "Dio" part is pretty self explanatory, at least if you're in Jon world.
He was playing around with a riff melody that he thought sounded like We Rock by Dio, and he wanted to make a song out of it. My fond memory of this song is of me and Jon sitting on my balcony in the late summer of last year, each with a guitar and a can of beer, working out the arrangement for it. At first the song was a lot slower and I kind of feel it lost something when it sped up to the tempo that it is now. I never really heard the Dio reference Jon was so psyched about, personally it always reminded me, at least in feeling, of a great song by our friends band Mörkt Kapitel, called Det Här Är En Dröm. It was another favourite for a while, but it was also a song that took a lot of work in the studio, and sometimes that can cause the band to lost a bit of faith in it. I still feel that it holds its place on the album, it's just doesn't sound how I imagined it would when we wrote it that evening on my balcony...
Waiting For Shadows – HC Däng
This was the first new song that I'd heard, and the first I rehearsed with the band once I was done with learning the dozens of old songs from the live set.
I remember being completely head fucked after having learnt around twenty five old Victims songs in the space of about three practices, only for Jon to be on me straight away with, “Ok, let's go through some new songs...” I was slightly over-awed... And then we played through this song, HC Däng, which loosely translates as Hardcore Belter or Ripper, or something equally as cheesy (insinuating that Jon thought this song was a real classic Hardcore kick in the face kind of song), and the cocky fucker nonchalantly tells me that I'm going play a solo after the first chorus. I realised then that I was in trouble. I'd never played a solo in my life! That fucking guitar solo had me bothered for weeks. I didn't know what I was going to play there. In the end I opted for something pretty simple, but it turned out ok anyway. Simple normally works.
This song was the first song the guys had written for the record. There had been a few other ideas knocking around but this was the first really strong idea that had surfaced. Once they'd written this song the guys knew that they were officially off the ground with the new album...
About two and a half years later, we'd finally go into the studio to record it...
There were a few other songs written during the last year or so that for various reasons, never made it to the album. One is going to appear on a split 7” later on. Another we had, which had the title Stiff, was recorded during the sessions but for some reason just never turned out how we'd hoped. It's strange how that happens with certain songs. I really loved Stiff when we'd written it (Jon had named it Stiff due to a Stiff Little Fingers drum accent at the end of the song, although the song in itself was pretty raging), we just couldn't capture it in the studio. The song was recorded and mixed but I doubt it will show up anywhere, we'll most likely use the best riff from it for something else in the future.
A couple of songs were half written but faded away before getting serious. And then Jon had a song he'd named Alabama Boogie, which in truth, was pretty ridiculous. It was a real southern-rock, blues boogie type thing. Jon loved it for a while. Andy and I had our doubts. I remember Jon showing it to us for the first time. He played the whole song, which was a couple of minutes long, guitar amp on full, hair in front of his face, head banging away and his left leg doing this jig thing. It was a sight to behold. One of the things I truly love about Jon is his insatiable enthusiasm for song writing. In truth, Alabama Boogie had some pretty good parts in it. It just wasn't a Victims song.
I listened through the test pressing of the record the other day, sat in my flat, drinking a cup of tea with the stereo volume cranked high. The buzz of listening through your band's new album on vinyl for the first time is one of the many pleasures that makes playing in a band the greatest thing in the world. I can't imagine ever wanting to retire from that...
The first thing that crossed my mind whilst looking at this list was how professional Victims were when going about their business. On closer inspection of the list though, a broad smile crossed my face. I noticed a song that had been given the working title, “Lemmy E Stolt”, which in English means, “Lemmy Is Proud”. I knew immediately that that must have been the working title for, Lies, Lies, Lies, a song that was released as a 7” following the Killer lp. I also knew that it must have been Jon who had christened the song. Looking at the other titles and I realised that it must have been Jon who had christened all of the songs on that work-sheet.
The new album, A Dissident, is out this week, and this being the case I thought I'd share the background story and working titles for each of the songs written for the record. As they'd always done before, we worked through each song in a professional manner, pulling songs apart and dissecting them, whilst all the time keeping notes on one of those work-sheets that this time hung on the wall behind Andy's drum kit.
Once again, it was Jon who took it upon himself to give the songs their working labels. Like every song ever written, they each have their influences, which are usually where the working titles come from. The real titles of the songs came to light long into the writing process.
In Speedhorn, lyrics were usually an after-thought, at least until Bloody Kev joined the band. It was usually the case that I'd give the songs their titles long before lyrics were written for them. I was always scribbling notes of song titles down. They would come from something I'd read, or heard somewhere in a film or on the news, that had caught my ear and I'd thought would make a pretty cool title. I'd have loads of these song titles in a note book I carried around in my bag at all times. So the subject of a Speedhorn song was usually always in the title, and not in the lyrics. The lyrics were often written in the studio and rarely had anything to do with the name of the song...
On A Dissident, the lyrics were given a lot of time and thought by Johan. Now they're not exactly Hemingway, but he at least had a solid theme for each song, which in turn followed a general theme for the entire album. It was only whilst we were pre-producing the album that the real song titles started to surface. Up until then we'd followed the working titles that Jon had dictated to Andy, who in turn wrote them up on the sheet. This being the case, the new song titles took some getting used to...
Theft – Dismember
Kind of obvious I guess, but it's a common theme in Jon's song-writing. The song was given the initial title Dismember due to the death metal style intro on it. The lead melody in itself though was very much inspired by Hallowed Be Thy Name by Maiden...
Jon had actually showed the guys this song during a practice session I had missed. Andy had told me afterwards that Jon had written a song with a pretty cool Maiden style melody in it. I texted Jon afterwards and told him that I had heard there was a good new song on the go, mentioning that Andy had said that it had a Maiden feel to it. ”Maiden feel?”, Jon immediately texted me back, “It's a direct rip off of Hallowed Be Thy Name! If Harris hears it he's gonna come knocking!”
Funnily enough, despite the Maiden/Dismember style intro, the main body of the song personally reminds me of one of Jon's other bands, Acursed. It was actually that that pleased me the most about it. I love Acursed.
Death Do Us Part – Discharge Rakt/Världens Bästa Låt
Again following the theme, this song was particularly influenced by Discharge. I know...shocking! But they did invent the entire scene after all... It was known as Straight Discharge at first, though Jon was so happy with the song that it soon got the working title Best Song In The World. It was obvious to us from the start that this was one of the stronger songs we'd written and would most likely have a place near the start of the album. It's straight up and to the point and one of the more aggressive songs we'd written for this record. Although it is heavy in it's Discharge influence, the hook at the end of the chorus always reminds me of To Ride era Entombed.
In Control – AB 4 Klack
As with every record I've ever been involved in writing, there are some songs that don't convince you at first, that go on to be firm favourites when they've been given the studio treatment. At the same time, there are songs that you really like in the rehearsal space that just don't live up to expectations once properly recorded. In Control was an example of the former.
The song itself was originally half the pace of the final album version. I thought it was way too slow. I didn't really get it. I have no problem with exploring new avenues but they have to remain true to the band's sound. It's a common theme on Victims albums that there is normally at least one standard 4/4 song, as opposed to the more common “d-beat” that the band's foundations are built on. This song was AB 4 Klack, which basically meant Another Breath 4/4. Jon was really into this song by our great friends Another Breath, which had this long guitar intro, and he wanted to have a song of our own that, in a similar manner, was based on a long guitar riff.
There was something missing though. It was a pretty straight forward song with just a couple of riffs, and being so slow it had a tendency to get a little boring. We ended up speeding up the song to around twice the tempo, I came up with an idea for a Helmet style stop/start in the chorus and Johan came up with a killer hook for the vocals. It became one of the more hit type songs on the record. Again though, it never really reminded me of Another Breath. I think it sounds more like the latest Coliseum album if anything. I think that might have more to do with the general attitude of the song though.
Victims In Blood Pt. 6 – V6
This is the one song that was written with a specific intention. That intention was to be the new V.I.B. song. It's been a tradition within the band that started with the first 7”, that every record since has had an In Blood song. They're always up there with the very fastest songs on the record, they're usually very short and always really aggressive. The one record that the song title doesn't appear on is Divide and Conquer, but Another Way To Die is actually Victims In Blood Part 4.
Although we didn't write the album with any specific intentions, the one mission Jon has, and he does treat it like a mission, is to write a song worthy of the In Blood title. We had one early on in the early stages of writing, but after toying around with it for a while, Jon tossed it out, claiming it not to be good enough. I liked it all the same.
As it happened, V6 was the final song we wrote for A Dissident. It's one of my absolute favourites.
Burning Bridges – Lemmy E Stolt Igen
If Lemmy was proud of Lies, Lies, Lies, then he was proud again of this song. The working title would later become simply, Lemmy. In the vain of the Killer sessions, Jon had once again written a Motorhead anthem of a song. I really liked it from the start, although Johan later admitted that he wasn't sure. The song never actually had any vocal line written for it, or at least, I never heard it in rehearsals, so it was a real boost to hear Johan's vocals on it at Nico's studio for what was the first time. I liked it anyway, but Johan's vocals really gave the song a lift. It was only after the album was finished and we were rehearsing the songs again that Johan said he thought it would be a good addition to the live set. I think this song is one of the most fun songs to play from the new material.
Bringing Me Down – Lizzy Intro
Yes, pretty obvious, but this song has a real Thin Lizzy intro riff. In it's embryonic stage it was way more over the top, very rock 'n' roll, in the worst sense. Jon had this high lead break thing that went over the bottom heavy chords Johan and I played. It was the song I had the most doubts about, and I was pretty sure that I'd be able to vote it off the record once finished.
We did toy with this song a lot though and eventually Jon's lead thing on the intro left the building. I was pleased with that. It went from sounding like Lizzy to something closer to From Ashes Rise. The working title reverted to just Lizzy after a while. Although we'd taken the silly intro away, the main body of the song still sounded pretty Lizzy, albeit a Victims take on it. The main riff is pretty rocking, almost happy in tone. The guitar solo I put down in the middle is directly influenced by the song, Massacre, from Lizzy's Johnny The Fox album.
Andy also seemed a little unsure about the song, and did his best to sneakily speed it up in rehearsals so as to bring it a bit more in line with how a Victims song should sound. He ended up succeeding. But as with In Control, it was Johan's vocals that really converted me to this song. I think he did a great job. His vocal on the verses gave the song exactly what it needed. It is now one of my favourites on the album.
We Are Not The Future – Anna Lotion
I have no fucking idea where Jon got the working title for this song from. Well the Anna part I get, since that part is a tribute to Annihilation Time, but the Lotion part? I haven't a clue. This song actually reminds me of Jon's girlfriend Anna, since she was out touring with AT a while back. I don't know, maybe this song is Jon's tribute to his girl...
The song itself took a long time to get together. It swayed back and forth a lot. It was one of the earlier songs written, one that had been around before I'd joined the band. The verse riff is really rock orientated, very AT. And the hook at the end of the chorus riff is about as close to Kiss as Victims will ever get. I remember we put a lot of time into the middle section, trying to nail this pretty cool drum accent thing, which went over my guitar chugging part, but we never got it together. Andy just couldn't find the right timing, and my arm refused to chugg for that long! We ended up going with a beat there in the middle instead. The Kiss riff was pretty straight up at first, but again we changed the drums to keep it in line with the more stabby beat that's in the rest of the song, which made the song a lot harder hitting in general. Johan and Jon came up with some cool interchanging vocals on this one which gave the song a really good hook. It turned out to be one of the songs I was really satisfied with on the album, but it probably won't be one we'll play live.
Lifetaker – Tråk Käng
The working title of this song literally means Boring Crust, which says a lot about Jon's sense of humour. It's actually one of the stronger songs on the record. It is though, a straight-forward d-beat crust song, direct from the realms of all those classic Swedish crust bands. The thing I always liked about this song was the minor chords that Jon wrote for the verse riff. It's quite subtle on the recording but if you listen for it you'll hear it.
If there was ever a Victims song that could be done acoustically then it would be this one. It's had many an acoustic going over in the studio control room, whilst we've sat around bored waiting for something to get fixed. It sounds really nice on an acoustic guitar actually, although Johan's singing accompanying it wasn't that hot...
Broken Bones – Garett Ett
This was the first song that I wrote for Victims, hence the title. Jon always pronounces my name in that ridiculously over the top Swedish way, with about ten “t's” added to the end.
This was another song that spent a lot of time hanging around in limbo. We didn't really know what to do with it. It had a whole other chorus at first and was quite a bit slower than the version that appears on the record. Once we'd adjusted it a little though it turned out pretty great. Jon came up with a awesome Entombed bit in the middle breakdown, which reminds me a lot of their song Wreckage from the To Ride album. Jon's years of grind training comes to the fore right here! Johan came up with some really great vocals again, and I played the nearest thing to a real guitar solo I'm ever going to manage. Linus, who is actually a real guitar player, helped me out a lot with it in the studio though.
Nowhere In Time – Maiden
This is about as obvious as it gets! It has a Maiden harmony in the chorus, Jon does a harmonic thing going back into the verse that when we put it down on the recording came out sounding exactly like the part from Aces High. This song could have been on Powerslave for fuck sakes! Even the official name for it was an obvious salute to the boys from London.
The song itself took no time to get together. It was one of the few songs that didn't need much work from Jon's original idea. In fact, the 4 track version that Jon had recorded at his desk at work (and he's always complaining that he works his ass off...) sounds pretty much as the final version turned out, apart from the ridiculous sounding drum machine that was on Jon's work/demo version.
I think this song pushes Victims boundaries about as far as they can go... definitely a song that grew on me over time. It's now one of the most fun songs to play in the rehearsal space.
Ignorance Is Bliss – Green Green
This was another song that was kicking around before I joined the band. There was a practice room tape with about five or six song ideas on, this being one of them. Jon had named this one Green Green since he thought the main part of the song sounded like Gang Green style hardcore. Fast, no frills. We fucked around for a while with the second part of the song and there's a little accent thing that ended up in there, right at the end of the song, that sounded like a song from Green Day's album, Dookie. When I first heard this idea I was like, what the fuck? But somehow it kind of worked and the working title became Green Green.
As opposed to how songs like In Control and Bringing Me Down didn't convince me at first, this song was one of my favourites in the early days. Unfortunately I feel we didn't quite capture it as we'd maybe hoped we would on the recording. It's weird, some songs are just like that. I think the end part of the song didn't quite hit how I thought it would. It's still a lot of fun to play this song in the rehearsal room, but I don't think it will make it to the stage. Still, a good song.
The Egoist – Dio Must Die
Not sure how the "Must Die" bit came about, but again, the "Dio" part is pretty self explanatory, at least if you're in Jon world.
He was playing around with a riff melody that he thought sounded like We Rock by Dio, and he wanted to make a song out of it. My fond memory of this song is of me and Jon sitting on my balcony in the late summer of last year, each with a guitar and a can of beer, working out the arrangement for it. At first the song was a lot slower and I kind of feel it lost something when it sped up to the tempo that it is now. I never really heard the Dio reference Jon was so psyched about, personally it always reminded me, at least in feeling, of a great song by our friends band Mörkt Kapitel, called Det Här Är En Dröm. It was another favourite for a while, but it was also a song that took a lot of work in the studio, and sometimes that can cause the band to lost a bit of faith in it. I still feel that it holds its place on the album, it's just doesn't sound how I imagined it would when we wrote it that evening on my balcony...
Waiting For Shadows – HC Däng
This was the first new song that I'd heard, and the first I rehearsed with the band once I was done with learning the dozens of old songs from the live set.
I remember being completely head fucked after having learnt around twenty five old Victims songs in the space of about three practices, only for Jon to be on me straight away with, “Ok, let's go through some new songs...” I was slightly over-awed... And then we played through this song, HC Däng, which loosely translates as Hardcore Belter or Ripper, or something equally as cheesy (insinuating that Jon thought this song was a real classic Hardcore kick in the face kind of song), and the cocky fucker nonchalantly tells me that I'm going play a solo after the first chorus. I realised then that I was in trouble. I'd never played a solo in my life! That fucking guitar solo had me bothered for weeks. I didn't know what I was going to play there. In the end I opted for something pretty simple, but it turned out ok anyway. Simple normally works.
This song was the first song the guys had written for the record. There had been a few other ideas knocking around but this was the first really strong idea that had surfaced. Once they'd written this song the guys knew that they were officially off the ground with the new album...
About two and a half years later, we'd finally go into the studio to record it...
There were a few other songs written during the last year or so that for various reasons, never made it to the album. One is going to appear on a split 7” later on. Another we had, which had the title Stiff, was recorded during the sessions but for some reason just never turned out how we'd hoped. It's strange how that happens with certain songs. I really loved Stiff when we'd written it (Jon had named it Stiff due to a Stiff Little Fingers drum accent at the end of the song, although the song in itself was pretty raging), we just couldn't capture it in the studio. The song was recorded and mixed but I doubt it will show up anywhere, we'll most likely use the best riff from it for something else in the future.
A couple of songs were half written but faded away before getting serious. And then Jon had a song he'd named Alabama Boogie, which in truth, was pretty ridiculous. It was a real southern-rock, blues boogie type thing. Jon loved it for a while. Andy and I had our doubts. I remember Jon showing it to us for the first time. He played the whole song, which was a couple of minutes long, guitar amp on full, hair in front of his face, head banging away and his left leg doing this jig thing. It was a sight to behold. One of the things I truly love about Jon is his insatiable enthusiasm for song writing. In truth, Alabama Boogie had some pretty good parts in it. It just wasn't a Victims song.
I listened through the test pressing of the record the other day, sat in my flat, drinking a cup of tea with the stereo volume cranked high. The buzz of listening through your band's new album on vinyl for the first time is one of the many pleasures that makes playing in a band the greatest thing in the world. I can't imagine ever wanting to retire from that...
Friday, April 8, 2011
Back In School
When I was a kid I hated school.
Well, that's not entirely true...I quite liked “junior” school, when I was a really little kid. Life at junior school was easy. No home work. No cantankerous teachers. No hormones and no angst about what fucking career you were going into at the end of it.
Junior school was pretty much about one thing. Playing football in the play-ground at break time. We got three breaks a day and Monday through Friday we'd have an on-going match that continued throughout the course of the day. If on certain days, the game was evenly poised going into the final twenty minute break in the afternoon, then the classroom would be buzzing with tension. Life is junior school was simple and I liked it.
Besides football at break times, there were a couple of class activities that I really got in to. I loved hand-writing. I always had really neat hand-writing, although due to a perfectionism that existed in me in those younger years, it took an incredible amount of time for me to put anything to paper. I was eventually told by the teacher that although my hand-writing was the best in class, if it took me so long to accomplish such high levels, it wasn't worth it. I remember finding that incredibly fucked up, but I took the teacher's advice and my hand-writing went to shit. The other thing I was enthusiastic about was book hour, when we'd sit in class and the teacher would narrate a novel to us as we read along with them. I remember two books from that time, that to this day I still love and have read many times since. Danny, Champion of the World by Roald Dahl and Ludo and the Star Horse by Mary Stewart. Two fantastic books.
Yes, junior school was easy. Senior school on the other hand... now I really did hate senior school. I remember that first day, feeling tortured in that fucking school uniform (we didn't have school uniform at junior school). I'd never felt so small in my life. The people who were in the fifth and final year of school, although actually only sixteen, looked like grown adults. The girls wore make up and had big tits and the guys had facial hair and big fucking muscles! They all terrified the shit out of me. And the teacher's weren't any better. Instead of kind old Mr. Price reading Danny, Champion of the World to us, we had the hideous looking Mrs. Jupp threatening us with detention if we didn't do our Maths home-work in time. Detention for fuck sakes? Home-work? My evenings of playing football with my mates on the field behind my parents house were over. I hated senior school from day fucking one!
And then everyone hit puberty and the whole thing really went to shit! But you can't really blame the school for that I suppose...
I got through the first three years of senior school relatively on track. I played for the school football team for the first couple of years, until the fun got sucked out of it with league play and hardened discipline. I was still into the whole book thing though and the one subject I was truly inspired by was English Literature. I loved reading works like Watership Down by Richard Adams and The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer. It was the only class I can truly say I enjoyed being a part of.
At the commencement of the fourth year, everything starts gearing towards the dreaded GCSE exams, which take place at the end of the fifth and final year. GCSE's were the passport to adulthood. They scared the shit out of me. Adulthood scared the shit out of me. Being thirteen years old and having “career advice” meetings seemed totally fucked up, as far as I was concerned.
I was one of the quiet kids, the kind that although I was friends with everybody, I made sure I didn't stick out, for neither better or worse... I always did just enough to get by, without caring to excel. I made it in to the top class of every subject (except Maths), but then once there just glided towards the GCSE exams on the bare minimum. To this day I have a hard time reading or studying a subject that I have no interest in. And in those days I really didn't have in interest in French, or Maths, or History or Religious Studies... I understood the importance of obtaining qualifications, I just didn't like the idea of going home after school and having my free time taken up by home-work! I hated the fact that the school day didn't end with the school bell.
The atmosphere at senior school wasn't exactly inviting either. The higher the year, the worse it seemed to get.
A great example of this was GCSE Maths class. It was the only class I hadn't made it to the “top-set” for. Now I don't know what the attitude was like in top-set, but in our class it was an absolute joke... We had this old Scottish teacher, Mrs. Martin. She was a pretty timid old lady, who sat at her desk in front of the blackboard generally looking terrified of the kids she was supposed to be teaching. The noise in her class was unbelievable! It was like a scene from one of those shitty movies about a run-down school in the estates. We didn't seem to do any work. Everyone just sat around talking to each other, chatting each other up, showing off and generally taking the piss. Nobody even noticed Mrs. Martin at the blackboard writing away. If she had stopped showing up altogether, it wouldn't have made the slightest bit of difference. The poor old thing would have had a hard time inspiring a dog to piss up a tree, never mind a class of teenagers to learn algebra! I often sat there quietly in the midst of this bedlam, wondering what the fuck must be going on behind the desperate expression on Mrs. Martin's face.
One day, when she decided to try and force some authority on the class, things got out of hand. It was almost painful watching her trying to shout over the chaos. You could see her lips moving, but you couldn't hear a word she was saying. And then she screamed. It was a spine-tingling, desperate scream. The class went silent. She then almost apologetically told us that we were all going to be in detention. For a split second she had our respect and attention. And then Steven Murie told her to fuck off and the whole class burst out laughing. Her eyes welled up with tears and she ran from the room. I hated myself at that point. I felt so sorry for her, and yet I said nothing. I just sat there, waiting for the shit to really hit the fan.
Five minutes later the Headmaster, Mr. Rumbelow, came storming into the class with a face like thunder. He went fucking crazy! Rightly so, of course. Mrs. Martin stood behind him, looking shaken, as he screamed at us for the best part of ten minutes. We were all forced to write a personal letter of apology to Mrs. Martin. I realised then that my chances of passing GCSE Maths were pretty much fucked.
There were rumours that in third-set Maths, a student and a teacher had come to blows, so I guess Mrs. Martin should have been happy to have us lot...
By the time senior school and the excruciation of GCSE exams were over, I'd done just about enough to make it to A-levels. Of course, I didn't have much choice in what to study, but then I was still only really interested in one subject. English Literature. And although I did enjoy being out of school uniform and into the sixth form, where the relationship between student and teacher was of a far maturer nature, it was still Lodge Park School. It was still the same grey, miserable building that I'd always hated. I left after the first of two years. I just wanted out. All I wanted to really do at this point was play music with my band at the time, Sect. We had a decent following in the local area and we'd even played a gig in London, I was sure we were going places.
It turned out not to be. I left Lodge Park, the bass player in Sect went to university and the band split up.
I was still only sixteen though and I knew it was too early to go into full time employment, and so out of panic, I enrolled at the technical college in the town centre. I thought the change of venue would make the world of difference. I could not have been more wrong. I literally signed up for the first course I stayed my eyes on in the college catalogue. Computer Science. What a fucking joke that turned out to be! I'm sure the teacher was onto me from the very first day. He was a guy that obviously spent his days at senior school being bullied by the tough kids and now he was ruling over his very own binary kingdom, and he fucking loved it! I guess it was pretty obvious that I wasn't bubbling with enthusiasm, and the smarmy bastard gave me a hard time from the get-go. I didn't help myself though. For the most part I spent my days writing out set-lists and imaginary tour dates for my new band, Soul Cellar. I didn't know what I was doing there. I only knew that I was miserable. And after a while I just stopped showing up.
I'd make it all the way to the front doors of college, and then I'd turn away and carry on along the street. I spent my days walking aimlessly around Corby, listening to my walkman. I'd been gone for a full day, so as not to arouse suspicion with my parents. It was the most miserable time of my entire life. I think that period is the closest I've ever came to being “depressed”. The only good memories I have of those days is the music I was listening to at the time, Steady Diet of Nothing by Fugazi in particular. I loved that record. I still do.
One day I walked into class after an absence of about four weeks. The teacher didn't even call my name out whilst reading the attendance register. I went up to his desk and asked him why my name wasn't called. He told me he didn't even realise I was in class any longer, I told him that I guessed I wasn't and I left. The smarmy cunt just smirked, as if he'd achieved some sort of victory.
When I walked out of that computer science class at eighteen years old, I was certain that I'd never set foot in a school classroom again. All that changed a few years later when I had moved to Sweden.
I had been in Stockholm for a while and had made some friends and I found myself increasingly frustrated by the fact I couldn't speak the language. It wasn't easy. For a start, everyone I knew spoke English brilliantly, but on top of that, I was constantly travelling away on tour with Speedhorn. I knew I wanted to stay in Stockholm though and I figured that one day I would just get around to learning the language.
Half way through recording the second Speedhorn album, things went to shit with our record label and we became embattled in a case to part ways with them. As shit as that was, the six month delay in the recording of that album gave me the window of opportunity to finally learn Swedish. Six years after walking out of college, I was going back to school. And this time I felt good about it.
Going to school as an adult with a genuine interest in the subject you are studying makes things a lot fucking easier. At thirteen I hated French class, at twenty-four I genuinely enjoyed sitting in the library after class working my way through Swedish exercise books. I went to class two times a week, four hours a day for six months, and by time I was done I could speak everyday conversational Swedish. It was a world away from Lodge Park Senior School and I loved every minute of it. I passed the course with flying colours.
What was really amazing about being back in school was the people I shared class with. The course was titled Swedish For Immigrants and therefore was attended by people from all over the world. Some were people from cultures that I had no idea about, some were from cultures that I thought I knew about but soon realised I didn't have a fucking clue.
I made friends with people from countries such as Rwanda, Moldova, Ukraine, Iraq and Bulgaria. They all had such different backgrounds to mine and finding out about their lives was fascinating. A group of us would go for coffee after class and we'd share stories from home over a few mugs of the black stuff. Sometimes we'd sit around for a couple of hours, just chatting away. I learnt as much about life from those conversations as I did Swedish from the lectures in school. It was an amazing time.
Unfortunately, not all of the stories I heard in those coffee shops were happy ones and I heard some things that shocked me. I suddenly felt incredibly ignorant...
I was sitting at a coffee shop in the old town with a guy from class that I'd become friendly with. His name was Solomon and although he was raised in Addis Ababa in Ethiopia, he was of Eritrean heritage and held an Eritrean passport. Now for a start, I wasn't even sure that Eritrea was it's own country. I knew there had been a conflict of independence between Eritrea and Ethiopia, but I didn't really know what the state of affairs was back then. We sat around drinking coffee and I asked Solomon what Addis Ababa was like as a city, and what life in Ethiopia was like in general. The only impression I'd ever had of Ethiopia was of those famous pictures of the famine, with the Cars song Drive playing over the horrifying images.
He told me that Addis Ababa was like any western city. Sky scrapers downtown, Starbucks, McDonalds, 7 Eleven... He told me that all those images I'd seen were of the millions of starving people outside of the cities in the slums, in the decimated farm lands. Of course it is an awful thing, but he told me that like myself, he'd only ever seen those images on tv, and probably not as much as I had, since the government there didn't exactly advertise what was going on in the countryside. Solomon himself had a good job in the city and led a quite normal life working 9-5 and socialising at restaurants and bars, just like anyone in a western city would have done. I have to admit that I was quite surprised by this. It wasn't exactly the image of Ethiopia I'd grown up with. I conveyed this to Solomon, who simply replied, “It's like anywhere else in the so called Third World, the rich are rich, the middle class lead relatively comfortable lives and the poor who are dying in the wastelands are ignored. He thought it was a horrible state of affairs, but what should he, or could he do about it? What should any of us do about it? We all agree that it's awful, but nothing actually gets done.
I sat there contemplating this, and I had to admit to myself, he had a fucking point. How many times had I sat in front of the tv watching the news, and seen some heart-wrenching story, thought about the fact that we should really do something to help, and then the news moves onto sports or an advertisement for some new car and it's forgotten? My thoughts switched back to Solomon. I asked him why he and his wife had left Ethiopia. What he told me next left me stunned...
Solomon told me that he sat eating dinner at a restaurant in downtown Addis Ababa with his wife and a group of friends. It was a completely ordinary Friday night and the atmosphere in the restaurant was relaxed. The topic of conversation amongst the group, as it almost inevitably would, shifted towards the troubles that were going on between Ethiopia and Eritrea. The two countries had had a border dispute ever since Eritrea had fought for independence some years before. Although Solomon was Eritrean, he'd spent practically his whole life in Addis Ababa. He'd been raised in the city, educated at the university and later found a relatively well paid job. He'd married his Ethiopian wife there and together they'd made a home for themselves, doing their best to get on with their lives as best they could. Although the foreboding shadow of famine and civil war hung constantly in the air and was never far away from the top of the agenda during conversation.
As dinner was eaten and coffee was ordered Solomon noticed a nervous look in the eye of one of his friends. He followed the friends gaze towards the window that looked out at the busy street outside and his balls jumped up into his throat. Outside the restaurant was a police van, and pouring out of the back doors were around ten cops, all armed with machine guns, and they were heading in to the restaurant. Solomon had an idea what was coming...
This gang of angry looking Ethiopian police barge their way into the restaurant and a heated exchange between the restaurant owner and the main cop ensues. After a couple of minutes, the owner of the establishment reluctantly shakes his head and the Head Pig starts barking orders at the patrons, who are now sat in stunned silence, wondering what the fuck is going on. Head Pig grunts an order to the men in the restaurant, telling them to line up outside in the street against the wall. There is a gasp of panic amongst the public, as one by one, the men in the room get up and leave to go outside. Solomon assures his wife everything will be ok, that it's most likely some random bullshit. Once outside, Solomon joins the already formed line and waits for whatever is coming next. Once the evacuation is complete, Head Pig starts checking everyone's identification. They're checked one by one as he walks down the line. As the passports are checked, some are given back and others are kept by the Pig. Those who's passports are obtained are then bundled into the back of the van at gunpoint. When it's Solomon's turn to show his Eritrean passport, he already knows that he'll be going in the back of that van.
Along with around eight others, Solomon is taken away by the police, all the while under the watch of a machine gun. No reason is given. In fact, not a word is said by anyone. He assumes that he'll be taken in to the police station for some bullshit questioning. He's surprised therefore when the van pulls to a stop, and still without any explanation offered, he's marched into a cell and the door is locked behind him. It's a dark, fifthly room with just a blood stained bed and a stinking toilet. Nothing else. He sits down on the bed, terrified, and awaits the next move.
One month later, a policeman opens the door of his cell and leads him back down the corridor he'd came upon arrival. The policeman marches him to the station's reception, in much the same manner as when he arrived, under the watch of that scary as shit machine gun. The door is opened and he's kicked out into the street. And that was that. Not once was he even spoken to by any of the police, never mind interrogated about who could only imagine what. He was given a paltry couple of meals a day and that was that. No visits, no telephone calls, no nothing. Now I've sat in a police cell in Spain with the Speedhorn boys for a couple of days, knowing fine well what we were guilty of, and when I'd awoken hungover after that first night in the cells, I was fucking terrified. But not once did I fear for my life, I knew that we'd be able to pay our way out. I can't even imagine the torment Solomon went through! And for what? Because he had an Eritrean passport? When he's done telling me this story over a cup of coffee, in some café in the beautiful surroundings of Stockholm’s old town, I just sit there staring at his happy, jovial face. I'm lost for words. After a few moments I finally inquire when this had taken place, expecting him to tell me it was many years ago. He told me that it actually happened in 2001, just a couple of years ago...I could barely believe it. It's hard to comprehend that stuff goes on like that, completely ignored, as the rest of is in the western world go about our lives.
I understand why Solomon left his country and moved to Sweden. I felt like a right ignorant cunt when he asked me why I'd left my home town, asked me what was so bad about it, and all I could say was that it was boring. I made a mental note to never moan about Corby again. What made this tragedy even worse in my eyes, was that as bright and intelligent as Solomon was, he was struggling to even get a job working in a bar here in Stockholm. As the conversation moved on he enthusiastically asked me about my band, and I tried to explain to him what my band was about, what the whole punk rock thing was, but after what he'd told me, the whole band thing just felt trivial. Solomon was fascinated by it though.
I met a few people like Solomon whilst I was at school, and in doing so learnt as much about the world we're living in as I did about the Swedish language. It was a wonderful bonus meeting people like Solomon from Ethiopia and many others, like my friend Stella from Moldova and Paco from Bulgaria, each with completely different lives to that of my own. Going to SFI turned out to be one of the best choices I ever made. Unfortunately, as life goes on and people go separate ways, you lose touch. I don't know what Solomon is doing now, but I hope he's still as happy as he always appeared to be, despite the shite he'd gone through in his life.
It's been six years since I finished that course. Although I wanted to learn Swedish, it was done more out of necessity than anything else. Last week I went back to school again. This time, not only to learn Swedish, but to take up some studies I thought I'd left long behind. It's only been a couple of weeks, but already it feels a world away from Lodge Park Senior School. Maybe things have changed. More than likely I've changed. I guess I've grown up. Not so strange, I think you probably do a lot of growing up between the ages of eighteen and thirty-two. My life now is pretty much non-stop. My weekly schedule is planned out to the minute, what with studying a couple of courses at school, running the bar full-time and playing in Victims amongst others, whilst sustaining a happy married life and looking after our dog, Bonzo. I couldn't be happier.
Well, that's not entirely true...I quite liked “junior” school, when I was a really little kid. Life at junior school was easy. No home work. No cantankerous teachers. No hormones and no angst about what fucking career you were going into at the end of it.
Junior school was pretty much about one thing. Playing football in the play-ground at break time. We got three breaks a day and Monday through Friday we'd have an on-going match that continued throughout the course of the day. If on certain days, the game was evenly poised going into the final twenty minute break in the afternoon, then the classroom would be buzzing with tension. Life is junior school was simple and I liked it.
Besides football at break times, there were a couple of class activities that I really got in to. I loved hand-writing. I always had really neat hand-writing, although due to a perfectionism that existed in me in those younger years, it took an incredible amount of time for me to put anything to paper. I was eventually told by the teacher that although my hand-writing was the best in class, if it took me so long to accomplish such high levels, it wasn't worth it. I remember finding that incredibly fucked up, but I took the teacher's advice and my hand-writing went to shit. The other thing I was enthusiastic about was book hour, when we'd sit in class and the teacher would narrate a novel to us as we read along with them. I remember two books from that time, that to this day I still love and have read many times since. Danny, Champion of the World by Roald Dahl and Ludo and the Star Horse by Mary Stewart. Two fantastic books.
Yes, junior school was easy. Senior school on the other hand... now I really did hate senior school. I remember that first day, feeling tortured in that fucking school uniform (we didn't have school uniform at junior school). I'd never felt so small in my life. The people who were in the fifth and final year of school, although actually only sixteen, looked like grown adults. The girls wore make up and had big tits and the guys had facial hair and big fucking muscles! They all terrified the shit out of me. And the teacher's weren't any better. Instead of kind old Mr. Price reading Danny, Champion of the World to us, we had the hideous looking Mrs. Jupp threatening us with detention if we didn't do our Maths home-work in time. Detention for fuck sakes? Home-work? My evenings of playing football with my mates on the field behind my parents house were over. I hated senior school from day fucking one!
And then everyone hit puberty and the whole thing really went to shit! But you can't really blame the school for that I suppose...
I got through the first three years of senior school relatively on track. I played for the school football team for the first couple of years, until the fun got sucked out of it with league play and hardened discipline. I was still into the whole book thing though and the one subject I was truly inspired by was English Literature. I loved reading works like Watership Down by Richard Adams and The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer. It was the only class I can truly say I enjoyed being a part of.
At the commencement of the fourth year, everything starts gearing towards the dreaded GCSE exams, which take place at the end of the fifth and final year. GCSE's were the passport to adulthood. They scared the shit out of me. Adulthood scared the shit out of me. Being thirteen years old and having “career advice” meetings seemed totally fucked up, as far as I was concerned.
I was one of the quiet kids, the kind that although I was friends with everybody, I made sure I didn't stick out, for neither better or worse... I always did just enough to get by, without caring to excel. I made it in to the top class of every subject (except Maths), but then once there just glided towards the GCSE exams on the bare minimum. To this day I have a hard time reading or studying a subject that I have no interest in. And in those days I really didn't have in interest in French, or Maths, or History or Religious Studies... I understood the importance of obtaining qualifications, I just didn't like the idea of going home after school and having my free time taken up by home-work! I hated the fact that the school day didn't end with the school bell.
The atmosphere at senior school wasn't exactly inviting either. The higher the year, the worse it seemed to get.
A great example of this was GCSE Maths class. It was the only class I hadn't made it to the “top-set” for. Now I don't know what the attitude was like in top-set, but in our class it was an absolute joke... We had this old Scottish teacher, Mrs. Martin. She was a pretty timid old lady, who sat at her desk in front of the blackboard generally looking terrified of the kids she was supposed to be teaching. The noise in her class was unbelievable! It was like a scene from one of those shitty movies about a run-down school in the estates. We didn't seem to do any work. Everyone just sat around talking to each other, chatting each other up, showing off and generally taking the piss. Nobody even noticed Mrs. Martin at the blackboard writing away. If she had stopped showing up altogether, it wouldn't have made the slightest bit of difference. The poor old thing would have had a hard time inspiring a dog to piss up a tree, never mind a class of teenagers to learn algebra! I often sat there quietly in the midst of this bedlam, wondering what the fuck must be going on behind the desperate expression on Mrs. Martin's face.
One day, when she decided to try and force some authority on the class, things got out of hand. It was almost painful watching her trying to shout over the chaos. You could see her lips moving, but you couldn't hear a word she was saying. And then she screamed. It was a spine-tingling, desperate scream. The class went silent. She then almost apologetically told us that we were all going to be in detention. For a split second she had our respect and attention. And then Steven Murie told her to fuck off and the whole class burst out laughing. Her eyes welled up with tears and she ran from the room. I hated myself at that point. I felt so sorry for her, and yet I said nothing. I just sat there, waiting for the shit to really hit the fan.
Five minutes later the Headmaster, Mr. Rumbelow, came storming into the class with a face like thunder. He went fucking crazy! Rightly so, of course. Mrs. Martin stood behind him, looking shaken, as he screamed at us for the best part of ten minutes. We were all forced to write a personal letter of apology to Mrs. Martin. I realised then that my chances of passing GCSE Maths were pretty much fucked.
There were rumours that in third-set Maths, a student and a teacher had come to blows, so I guess Mrs. Martin should have been happy to have us lot...
By the time senior school and the excruciation of GCSE exams were over, I'd done just about enough to make it to A-levels. Of course, I didn't have much choice in what to study, but then I was still only really interested in one subject. English Literature. And although I did enjoy being out of school uniform and into the sixth form, where the relationship between student and teacher was of a far maturer nature, it was still Lodge Park School. It was still the same grey, miserable building that I'd always hated. I left after the first of two years. I just wanted out. All I wanted to really do at this point was play music with my band at the time, Sect. We had a decent following in the local area and we'd even played a gig in London, I was sure we were going places.
It turned out not to be. I left Lodge Park, the bass player in Sect went to university and the band split up.
I was still only sixteen though and I knew it was too early to go into full time employment, and so out of panic, I enrolled at the technical college in the town centre. I thought the change of venue would make the world of difference. I could not have been more wrong. I literally signed up for the first course I stayed my eyes on in the college catalogue. Computer Science. What a fucking joke that turned out to be! I'm sure the teacher was onto me from the very first day. He was a guy that obviously spent his days at senior school being bullied by the tough kids and now he was ruling over his very own binary kingdom, and he fucking loved it! I guess it was pretty obvious that I wasn't bubbling with enthusiasm, and the smarmy bastard gave me a hard time from the get-go. I didn't help myself though. For the most part I spent my days writing out set-lists and imaginary tour dates for my new band, Soul Cellar. I didn't know what I was doing there. I only knew that I was miserable. And after a while I just stopped showing up.
I'd make it all the way to the front doors of college, and then I'd turn away and carry on along the street. I spent my days walking aimlessly around Corby, listening to my walkman. I'd been gone for a full day, so as not to arouse suspicion with my parents. It was the most miserable time of my entire life. I think that period is the closest I've ever came to being “depressed”. The only good memories I have of those days is the music I was listening to at the time, Steady Diet of Nothing by Fugazi in particular. I loved that record. I still do.
One day I walked into class after an absence of about four weeks. The teacher didn't even call my name out whilst reading the attendance register. I went up to his desk and asked him why my name wasn't called. He told me he didn't even realise I was in class any longer, I told him that I guessed I wasn't and I left. The smarmy cunt just smirked, as if he'd achieved some sort of victory.
When I walked out of that computer science class at eighteen years old, I was certain that I'd never set foot in a school classroom again. All that changed a few years later when I had moved to Sweden.
I had been in Stockholm for a while and had made some friends and I found myself increasingly frustrated by the fact I couldn't speak the language. It wasn't easy. For a start, everyone I knew spoke English brilliantly, but on top of that, I was constantly travelling away on tour with Speedhorn. I knew I wanted to stay in Stockholm though and I figured that one day I would just get around to learning the language.
Half way through recording the second Speedhorn album, things went to shit with our record label and we became embattled in a case to part ways with them. As shit as that was, the six month delay in the recording of that album gave me the window of opportunity to finally learn Swedish. Six years after walking out of college, I was going back to school. And this time I felt good about it.
Going to school as an adult with a genuine interest in the subject you are studying makes things a lot fucking easier. At thirteen I hated French class, at twenty-four I genuinely enjoyed sitting in the library after class working my way through Swedish exercise books. I went to class two times a week, four hours a day for six months, and by time I was done I could speak everyday conversational Swedish. It was a world away from Lodge Park Senior School and I loved every minute of it. I passed the course with flying colours.
What was really amazing about being back in school was the people I shared class with. The course was titled Swedish For Immigrants and therefore was attended by people from all over the world. Some were people from cultures that I had no idea about, some were from cultures that I thought I knew about but soon realised I didn't have a fucking clue.
I made friends with people from countries such as Rwanda, Moldova, Ukraine, Iraq and Bulgaria. They all had such different backgrounds to mine and finding out about their lives was fascinating. A group of us would go for coffee after class and we'd share stories from home over a few mugs of the black stuff. Sometimes we'd sit around for a couple of hours, just chatting away. I learnt as much about life from those conversations as I did Swedish from the lectures in school. It was an amazing time.
Unfortunately, not all of the stories I heard in those coffee shops were happy ones and I heard some things that shocked me. I suddenly felt incredibly ignorant...
I was sitting at a coffee shop in the old town with a guy from class that I'd become friendly with. His name was Solomon and although he was raised in Addis Ababa in Ethiopia, he was of Eritrean heritage and held an Eritrean passport. Now for a start, I wasn't even sure that Eritrea was it's own country. I knew there had been a conflict of independence between Eritrea and Ethiopia, but I didn't really know what the state of affairs was back then. We sat around drinking coffee and I asked Solomon what Addis Ababa was like as a city, and what life in Ethiopia was like in general. The only impression I'd ever had of Ethiopia was of those famous pictures of the famine, with the Cars song Drive playing over the horrifying images.
He told me that Addis Ababa was like any western city. Sky scrapers downtown, Starbucks, McDonalds, 7 Eleven... He told me that all those images I'd seen were of the millions of starving people outside of the cities in the slums, in the decimated farm lands. Of course it is an awful thing, but he told me that like myself, he'd only ever seen those images on tv, and probably not as much as I had, since the government there didn't exactly advertise what was going on in the countryside. Solomon himself had a good job in the city and led a quite normal life working 9-5 and socialising at restaurants and bars, just like anyone in a western city would have done. I have to admit that I was quite surprised by this. It wasn't exactly the image of Ethiopia I'd grown up with. I conveyed this to Solomon, who simply replied, “It's like anywhere else in the so called Third World, the rich are rich, the middle class lead relatively comfortable lives and the poor who are dying in the wastelands are ignored. He thought it was a horrible state of affairs, but what should he, or could he do about it? What should any of us do about it? We all agree that it's awful, but nothing actually gets done.
I sat there contemplating this, and I had to admit to myself, he had a fucking point. How many times had I sat in front of the tv watching the news, and seen some heart-wrenching story, thought about the fact that we should really do something to help, and then the news moves onto sports or an advertisement for some new car and it's forgotten? My thoughts switched back to Solomon. I asked him why he and his wife had left Ethiopia. What he told me next left me stunned...
Solomon told me that he sat eating dinner at a restaurant in downtown Addis Ababa with his wife and a group of friends. It was a completely ordinary Friday night and the atmosphere in the restaurant was relaxed. The topic of conversation amongst the group, as it almost inevitably would, shifted towards the troubles that were going on between Ethiopia and Eritrea. The two countries had had a border dispute ever since Eritrea had fought for independence some years before. Although Solomon was Eritrean, he'd spent practically his whole life in Addis Ababa. He'd been raised in the city, educated at the university and later found a relatively well paid job. He'd married his Ethiopian wife there and together they'd made a home for themselves, doing their best to get on with their lives as best they could. Although the foreboding shadow of famine and civil war hung constantly in the air and was never far away from the top of the agenda during conversation.
As dinner was eaten and coffee was ordered Solomon noticed a nervous look in the eye of one of his friends. He followed the friends gaze towards the window that looked out at the busy street outside and his balls jumped up into his throat. Outside the restaurant was a police van, and pouring out of the back doors were around ten cops, all armed with machine guns, and they were heading in to the restaurant. Solomon had an idea what was coming...
This gang of angry looking Ethiopian police barge their way into the restaurant and a heated exchange between the restaurant owner and the main cop ensues. After a couple of minutes, the owner of the establishment reluctantly shakes his head and the Head Pig starts barking orders at the patrons, who are now sat in stunned silence, wondering what the fuck is going on. Head Pig grunts an order to the men in the restaurant, telling them to line up outside in the street against the wall. There is a gasp of panic amongst the public, as one by one, the men in the room get up and leave to go outside. Solomon assures his wife everything will be ok, that it's most likely some random bullshit. Once outside, Solomon joins the already formed line and waits for whatever is coming next. Once the evacuation is complete, Head Pig starts checking everyone's identification. They're checked one by one as he walks down the line. As the passports are checked, some are given back and others are kept by the Pig. Those who's passports are obtained are then bundled into the back of the van at gunpoint. When it's Solomon's turn to show his Eritrean passport, he already knows that he'll be going in the back of that van.
Along with around eight others, Solomon is taken away by the police, all the while under the watch of a machine gun. No reason is given. In fact, not a word is said by anyone. He assumes that he'll be taken in to the police station for some bullshit questioning. He's surprised therefore when the van pulls to a stop, and still without any explanation offered, he's marched into a cell and the door is locked behind him. It's a dark, fifthly room with just a blood stained bed and a stinking toilet. Nothing else. He sits down on the bed, terrified, and awaits the next move.
One month later, a policeman opens the door of his cell and leads him back down the corridor he'd came upon arrival. The policeman marches him to the station's reception, in much the same manner as when he arrived, under the watch of that scary as shit machine gun. The door is opened and he's kicked out into the street. And that was that. Not once was he even spoken to by any of the police, never mind interrogated about who could only imagine what. He was given a paltry couple of meals a day and that was that. No visits, no telephone calls, no nothing. Now I've sat in a police cell in Spain with the Speedhorn boys for a couple of days, knowing fine well what we were guilty of, and when I'd awoken hungover after that first night in the cells, I was fucking terrified. But not once did I fear for my life, I knew that we'd be able to pay our way out. I can't even imagine the torment Solomon went through! And for what? Because he had an Eritrean passport? When he's done telling me this story over a cup of coffee, in some café in the beautiful surroundings of Stockholm’s old town, I just sit there staring at his happy, jovial face. I'm lost for words. After a few moments I finally inquire when this had taken place, expecting him to tell me it was many years ago. He told me that it actually happened in 2001, just a couple of years ago...I could barely believe it. It's hard to comprehend that stuff goes on like that, completely ignored, as the rest of is in the western world go about our lives.
I understand why Solomon left his country and moved to Sweden. I felt like a right ignorant cunt when he asked me why I'd left my home town, asked me what was so bad about it, and all I could say was that it was boring. I made a mental note to never moan about Corby again. What made this tragedy even worse in my eyes, was that as bright and intelligent as Solomon was, he was struggling to even get a job working in a bar here in Stockholm. As the conversation moved on he enthusiastically asked me about my band, and I tried to explain to him what my band was about, what the whole punk rock thing was, but after what he'd told me, the whole band thing just felt trivial. Solomon was fascinated by it though.
I met a few people like Solomon whilst I was at school, and in doing so learnt as much about the world we're living in as I did about the Swedish language. It was a wonderful bonus meeting people like Solomon from Ethiopia and many others, like my friend Stella from Moldova and Paco from Bulgaria, each with completely different lives to that of my own. Going to SFI turned out to be one of the best choices I ever made. Unfortunately, as life goes on and people go separate ways, you lose touch. I don't know what Solomon is doing now, but I hope he's still as happy as he always appeared to be, despite the shite he'd gone through in his life.
It's been six years since I finished that course. Although I wanted to learn Swedish, it was done more out of necessity than anything else. Last week I went back to school again. This time, not only to learn Swedish, but to take up some studies I thought I'd left long behind. It's only been a couple of weeks, but already it feels a world away from Lodge Park Senior School. Maybe things have changed. More than likely I've changed. I guess I've grown up. Not so strange, I think you probably do a lot of growing up between the ages of eighteen and thirty-two. My life now is pretty much non-stop. My weekly schedule is planned out to the minute, what with studying a couple of courses at school, running the bar full-time and playing in Victims amongst others, whilst sustaining a happy married life and looking after our dog, Bonzo. I couldn't be happier.
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