Malmö

Today was the first day of the tour.

Early start, got up around 7am. Didn't get much sleep the night before. I never manage to sleep so much when I know I have to get up so early, and I usually, in normal working life, hit the hay around 4am..

Anyway, met up with the guys at the practice room at 9, packed the van and headed off. The first show with Municipal Waste is tomorrow in Berlin, but we'd arranged a show with Dempe, the singer in Sista Sekunden, to break up the journey on the way down. He's got this really great little space where he has his tattoo studio and a rehearsal room behind that. We hung out here the last time we were in Malmö, the night the cops closed down the show at Utkanten...

So we were here to try and make up for that night, it felt good to be back so soon for another gig after that last fucked up event. I was hoping this show would run a bit smoother, or at least run anyway.

Things started well enough. After an amazing home-made vegetarian lasagne at Dempe's place, we headed to the gig space. We set up the gear on the small stage. I had my new amp that I'd just bought from Jon, and I was looking forward to taking it on tour. We didn't bother soundchecking since the place was so small that there was no need to mike anything up. Instead we opened up a can of beer each and got to work on fixing our merchandise. We got a bunch of new lp's for the tour, limited editions of the Killer album. We sat around foliding covers and stuffing vinyl into plastic sleeves whilst the room started filling up with familiar faces.

By the time we went up to play, the place was packed. Around 60 people. I squeezed through the crowd, tuned up my guitars and turned on my amp. No sound. Ok I thought, this happenes all the time. I changed leads, checked my guitar, all the usual things. Ok. Now. Still no fucking sound! I felt the panic setting in. Some voices in the crowd started piping up, giving it the usual banter. Jon and Johan were over helping me, trying to figure out what was wrong. I noticed that even though the power was on, there was no glow coming from the tubes inside. I knew then the amp was dead. So much for taking some new gear on tour. Jon piped up and asked me in his usual tone why I hadn't checked the amp earlier. Not fucking now mate, I just bought the fucker from you and I don't need to be answering that question right now.

Luckily, we had brought Jon's other amp along with us for the tour. Dempe ran off through the crowd to get it for us, whilst I stood on stage feeling like a right cunt. By the time we got some sound up through my guitar, the crowd was pretty buzzed. We kicked into Scars and the crowd kicked off.

We played the set and I tried to put the whole amp thing behind me. It was a really good atmosphere and the crowd were great. After a couple of blocks Jon breaks a string so changes guitar. After another couple of songs I then break a string, so have to revert to my wife's SG. I'm a bit nervous about using it since the stage is tiny, and Jen loves that white Gibson SG! It took me a while to convince her to lend me it as a back up for the guitar, but she said as long as I take it easy and look after it I could take it. In other words, I would have to go a lot easier on it than I do on my own. My guitar is pretty fucked up, because honestly speaking, I haven't been kind to it over the years.

Anyway, I get back on with the set whilst taking it easy on Jen's guitar. As we're getting towards the end of the set, and the sweat is dripping off me like a stream of stink, I notice there's something going on with my lead. What now for fuck sakes? I play on to the last song in the set just hoping it will hold up. It does. We finish the last song and I want to get off stage. My broken amp is once again haunting my thoughts. Good show, let's get off. Except, there is no room to get off stage and the crowd is giving it the usual appeals for another song. I look at Andy and we both shake our heads. It's hot as hell up here and we're both pretty fucked. I'm hoping we're done. We're not. We're gonna play two more songs. Ok, best look at that lead then since I once again have nothing but silence coming from my side of the stage.

I think to myself that if there is anything wrong with Jen's guitar then I'm fucking off home. Not to Stockholm either, to my mum's. Haha. It's not though, it seems a lead has now gone. I fuck around a bit more, to a soundtrack of wise cracks from our friends in the crowd. I get some sound back and I'm ready to go again. I stand up, get ready to start Destroy and Rebuild, and my fucking guitar strap falls off! I look at Johan and we just laugh at each other. Fuck this! I get down and play the last two songs of the set on my knees. I think I put more energy into those two songs than the rest of the set combined. We finish, I get off stage, walk through the crowd shaking the odd hand that is offered to me, head for the car park outside and put my fist straight into the brick wall.

I stand outside for a while cooling off both pyhsically and mentally. First show of the tour and already I'm looking at losing money. I'm only now about to start paying Jon for the amp and already I've got to get it fucking fixed. Life on the road I guess. I stand outside for a while longer mulling over why I'm still here after all these years. I must really love it I guess. After a phone call to Jen, who as ever, cheers me up, I head back inside.

The rest of the night is pretty chilled out. We hang out with the Sista Sekunden and Fy Fan guys and chat for a while over a cold beer, which tastes fucking beautiful. We head back to Peter, the Fy Fan drummer's apartment, where we're staying for the night. We talk about punk rock and plans to get my amp fixed and I head to the camp bed in the kitchen I have previously claimed. I read for a while and turn the lights out around 1.30, knowing we're getting up at 7 to drive to Berlin. I lie there in the dark for a while wondering what is wrong my amp. My last thoughts before sleep are of hope, that everything that could go wrong on tour is surely already out of the way and taken care of on the first night...I'm not that naive though.